Okayyyyyyyy. Whelp. This doesn't happen very often - if ever, actually - but I don't even know what to say right now. Seriously. I don't. My friends always tell me that if most people's brains can be compared to a lone hamster on a wheel, then mine is analogous to three hamsters on a wheel, spastically running into each other. Which is actually very accurate; however, right now, my hamsters are like this: Stunned, I tell you.* As I write this, I haven't even actually decided on a rating yet. In fact, I feel like I should warn ya'll now: This is going to be a sh*t show of a review. Then again, this was quite the sh*t show of a book, so perhaps that's fitting. But before I even pretend to "review" this thing, I want to make couple things clear: I read this book in its entirety and all the thoughts here are my own. I don't expect everyone to agree with my opinions. If you disagree, that's fine. That's right... Second: I knew there was...scuttlebutt in regards to this book - people said it involved offensive sh*t and they couldn't believe other people liked it - and so I, of course, absolutely wanted to know what all the buzz was about. So being quite the oblivious ostrich that I sometimes am, I jokingly (as I tend to be) said, "A book that keeps coming up in my feed as 'offensive' and 'too taboo' and for which I might get raked over the coals for liking? Sign me up!!!" At that time, I didn't realize that this was quite the GR drama and all over FB as well. I mean, geez, it's just a book, I was thinking. Even then I didn't realize the magnitude of the drama surrounding this thing until I put it on my current reading list...and had two people unfriend me solely because I decided to read it. I hadn't even FINISHED it or rated it yet. Then I saw all the status updates and comments with people talking about unfriending and just generally deriding other people about their values and morals and/or their supposed lack thereof. OVER A FICTIONAL SMUT BOOK, mind you. Now, to be clear, I'm not upset that people wanted to unfriend me over this. Truly. That's their jam and if something I say or do offends them - or ANY of you, EVER - then by all means unfriend me. Please. If unfriending me over something that you perceive as bothersome makes you sleep better at night, then I'm all for it. You do you. Personally, I am not one to get upset about any of this stuff. It's just the internet, folks. I just think all this drama is kind of ridiculous, though, so I had just had to say my piece on that. But I digress. This book. Being that this was pulled from Amazon (which is an argument for another day) and being that the horse is out of the barn...and way the fuuuuck down the road...I see no need to shut the barn door. Meaning: I'm just gonna go ahead and wreck the f*ck out of this thing from a spoiler standpoint. Seriously. You've been told. So off we go. I think I wavered between two expression while reading this book. This: Coupled with this: Or, in other words: Not sure if funny or gross...and it tastes kinda weird...but I can't stop eating it. But let's start at the beginning. With the author's note, where she talks about how only people who are open-minded and BRAVE should read this book. I mean, I guess I "get" what she was trying to say...but to suggest that people are cowards and close-minded for NOT wanting to read something they feel doesn't align with their likes and values is kind of, well, passive aggressive, no? Almost like a taunt. Since I am a bit of a taunt master (ask my husband)...I know a taunt when I see one. And, well... So...not cool. And of course we can't talk about this without discussing the big TABOO that has everyone all up in a tizzy: The incest. Now. I've said it before and I'll say it again. When Devon and her Daddy had their first...less than platonic scene (before the big cliff dive), I found myself... Giggling like a little girl peaking through her hands during a love scene at the movie theater. And AFTER the the cliff dive scene, when they found themselves in their next sexual foray... I found myself more worried about the whereabouts of Buddy the dog. Seriously. I mean, on an intellectual level, I know that what was happening on the page was wrong and totally disgusting on so many levels, but quite frankly....I just didn't find myself caring too much. Why not, you say? Well, because aside from being dead inside, I am also an overly practical kinda gal. And I found myself verra distracted by all the other BULLsh*t happening in this story. What bullsh*t, you say? What could possibly be more distracting to you than blatant incest, you say? Well, I will tell you. WTF #1: What f*cking idiot parks an RV on a f*cking cliff? No seriously. Being that Reed was supposedly pretty well off - he's described as a millionaire that liquidated all his sh*t for this big move - it's pretty safe to assume that he bought his family a pretty nice RV -AKA a Class A Recreational Vehicle, most likely with multiple slide-outs and top of the line finishes. Meaning...HEAVY. Seriously. I mean, it was like he was asking it to crumble. WTF #2: Why the HELL would they not attempt to, oh I don't know, go HOME at any point? Pretty sure if my wife just DIED, my daughter was IMPALED by a TREE, and EVERYTHING I owned WENT OVER A CLIFF, my first thought would NOT be "Gee, I should build a cabin." How about, find some cell phone reception and CALL FOR HELP? I mean, if your sole care in life was supposedly your family and the FIRST night in your new SAFE place results in the massacre of a third of its remaining members...maybe it's time to, I don't know, NOT stay there. WTF #3: The Suburbanite/Alaskan Survivalist Changeover My eyes are stuck in the side eye position, I swear. Because, I don't care how many survival manuals, guidebooks, self help pamphlets, or magic decoder rings the author insisted on mentioning these two reading. There is NO way these two yuppie suburbanites from wealthy as f*ck San Francisco turned into badass Alaskan wilderness beasts overnight like this. Within hours of the RV debacle, Reed was supposedly giving Devon stitches. Within days it has him "felling" trees and building a house by himself. Pfffft. I've seen Barnwood Builders, folks. Those dudes have been building barns and cabins for YEARS. And we are supposed to believe Reed managed this alone? With no prior practice? And that Devon supposedly skins and "harvests" an entire bear corpse? HA! I call bullsh*t. WTF #4: The Inbred Rapists This reminded me of that famous X-Files episode. For real though, that episode was so high on the WTF scale that I STILL think about it sometimes. But anyway, I won't even get into this scene and the subsequent fallout. This was just SO utterly unnecessary that it just screamed it was put in there for shock value. Cause, you know, apparently this incestuously underage Alaskan wilderness f*ck fest needed just one more thing to make you go hmmmm. WTF #5: The Adoption Twist Talk about jumping the shark. You did all this authoring and mind massaging to try to get your reader to accept this...situation you have set up here - the one you PURPOSEFULLY made as taboo as humanly possible... Just to try and say "Just kidding, suckers," at the end? Pfffft. Not gonna lie, I felt kinda duped. Regardless, even though I already made it clear that the incest thing didn't really get to me - because quite frankly, as wrong as it is, it's just not a trigger for me - I don't think suddenly making her adopted made it "better" in anyway. Making Devon adopted - surprise! - does not undercut the incest here. My husband is adopted. His mother is his MOTHER. Blood or not. And just when you think she couldn't pile anymore sauce on this soup sandwich, we find out that adopted Devon is a product of incest? Oh, le sigh. It's like a circus up in here folks. But anycray. All that said, I didn't totally hate this book. I mean, you are talking to someone here who has read alien smut, Gay Lord of the Orcs, Ravaged by the Barbarian Horde, and so much other glorious trash it's actually astounding. I like WTF sh*t. Let's leave it to GOD or [insert whatever spiritual being you prefer] be the judge of whether or not I go to hell for it, shall we? From an entertainment standpoint, I think I will settle on an even 3 stars here. Although I'm sure I'll get lambasted for that: There, I said it for you. Cause nothing "wrong" is EVER peddled merely for entertainment...right...? Anyway. I'm not going to argue the about the morality issues here, folks. In my mind, this is a work of fiction. If you can't separate certain issues from the fact that this is fiction - whether that be due to a moral, preferential, or trigger standpoint - then you should absolutely skip this book. This is not meant to be some epic love story that traverses time and space. That said, this book is definitely not for everyone. It's that simple. So ya'll have a great day. I hope you go off and read some books I wouldn't touch with a 10ft pole. Edited to add: The author should have blatantly stated in the prologue disclaimer that the book involved incest and rape themes and that anyone triggered by these topics should avoid this book. To suggest that anyone sensitive to these themes is not "brave" or "open-minded" is insulting to those people. *Apparently those are actually guinea pigs. Thanks to homie Kelly and her boar slu*t for pointing that out. My bad. I am obviously not up to speed on my rodents. Good thing Kelly is dialed in.
I'm hoping it will come to me over the course of tapping this thing out.
I just expect people to respect them.
Cause I respect all of yours.
Feel free to say so.
I'm not going to attack you for it so long as you do it respectfully, hmmm?
Because at the end of the day, let's remember one thing:
I am heartless and without a soul. 
Meaning, that idiot parked his family ON A CLIFF in a 15-25 ton death trap. 
ATTEMPT to find a nearby town or SOMETHING.
FLY YOUR WIFE"S BODY HOME.
Maybe even just push pause on this "new life" and reassess for f*cks sake. 
Look how many of them there are FFS.
And they STILL f*ck things up.
By herself?
Based on a manual?
I forget the title of it, but it's probably "Inbreeding Gone Bad."
And it aired in the 1990's.
Funnily enough, it was actually banned from being re-aired on FOX for a while...ironic.
In fact, as wrong as it may seem to some of you, I did find it moderately entertaining.
"How dare you call incest and rape and underage sex 'entertaining.'"
And I'm not here to rate other people's morals or triggers, I'm here to rate and share my thoughts on a work of fiction.
I applaud and respect that.
Just don't go around deriding other people who don't have those triggers and/or different moral standards for choosing to read it.
It's just smut for smut's sake.
And it has nothing to do with bravery or open mindedness.
It's simply about preference.
I prefer not to read about certain subjects and I respect those who choose not to read this based on the same. 
